During my final semester in college, I was presented with a decision: Find employment in the field I was about to receive my BA in (Psychology), or chase my dreams of being a big-time, Hollywood producer. While getting paid minimum wage to administer anti-depressants to rats wasn't the most appealing career option, I also had absolutely no experience in "the biz." I'd always been able to bullshit my way through oral presentations in class though, so how hard could an interview at a studio be? Thanks to a cleverly worded cover letter (using words like "multi-tasker" and "Caucasian") I found myself in the reception area at Dreamworks. I was interviewing for a content development internship in their animation division. I had no idea what that meant, but I had it all worked out: if this guy asked me why I was qualified for the position, I would joke that "I like cartoons." We would laugh, pat each other on the back, and "skip all these silly formalities and start me a career." A very nice man named Mark greeted me and gave me the tour. He seemed genuinely happy to meet me, but with every world-class sound stage we passed and proudly-displayed Oscar we marveled at, it became exponentially more clear to me that the situation I had bullshitted my way into would not be bullshat out of. Mark asked me a series of questions that lead to the inevitable one: "What makes you qualified for this job?" In conjunction with my pitiful resume, the "I like cartoons" line sounded significantly more retard-y than it had in my head. I came clean and told Mark I had no qualifications. The tone of our conversation shifted drastically. It was like we got 3/4ths of the way through a first date before I told Mark that what I was really looking for in a man was a daddy for my 6-year-old son. Mark told me he’d call me if they needed someone like me. It’s been 2 years now, but he’ll call… he’ll call

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Missed Connections – Sad Slasher #1

A murderous slasher has been killing people at his creepy cabin for years - but now that a neighbor is warning people away, his supply of victims has dried up!