O.J. Simpson is on trial, a show called "90210" is on the air, and President Bush is about to leave the White House. Are the 90s back? Let's hope so, since the 90s were much more fun than today, and the more things from that decade to come back, the better. Here's a few more things from the 90s that would be great to see again: 1) Presidential sex scandals. Whoever becomes our new president in January will have to deal with several major issues right off the bat - Iraq, the economy, global warming (or if you're a Republican, replace "global warming" with "the gays"). Wouldn't a juicy presidential sex scandal be a great way to take our minds off of our country's horrible problems? You know Obama would have much better taste in mistresses than, say, Bill Clinton. And as much as I don't want the Republicans to take the White House, a McCain/Palin sex tape would just about make it all worthwhile.
2) Sassily commanding people to communicate with parts of your body. Remember how fun it was to tell people to "talk to the hand?" Of course you do! Everyone had fun with that one, whether you were a sassy black lady, a sassy gay man, or someone making fun of sassy black ladies or sassy gay men. Why not update this wonderful expression? "Email the elbow." "Twitter the taint." The possibilities are figuratively endless! 3) Current rock stars dying. Kurt Cobain’s suicide in 1994 was one of the most tragic events of the decade. However, an even bigger tragedy is that Nickelback’s Chad Kroeger is still alive. Even worse, unlike Kurt, Chad seems pretty happy with himself and comfortable with success, so it looks like we’re doomed to several more years of Nickelback churning out songs that sound exactly like all their other songs. The good news? As far as I can tell, Courtney Love is single. If any hotshot matchmakers out there want to get on this case, it would really help things out. I’d list some more great things from the 90s that should come back, but I’m running late for the Spin Doctors/Gin Blossoms concert. Don’t wait up.
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