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WHY DOES APPLE LOVE THE WORD GENIUS?

The genius bar guys, some of them are smart, sure. But most of the time, it's just, "Did you restart it?" "Did you reinstall the software?" I mean, the whole idea behind Mac is that it doesn't take a genius to figure it out. So it makes sense that genius bar guys are only slightly above average intelligence. If those guys are geniuses, then I’m the Norman Mailer of crappy blog posts. This whole Genius Playlist thing is a bridge too far though. Is Apple serious? Wow, you hear T.Rex and then give me a playlist with David Bowie, Roxy Music, and more T.Rex. Whoopdee fucking doo. What’s next? If I buy the movie Rushmore are you gonna recommend Bottle Rocket? This is pretty standard internet suggestion shit, and I'm not mad at it, I understand lots of people are unfamiliar with the concept of googling something or looking up an artist on Wikipedia. But genius it ain’t. I don’t want to sound like Nick Hornby or anything, but making a good mix is an art. It’s more than just throwing together a bunch of songs that sort of sound the same.

You have to make bold choices. I’ll throw down three punks songs and then, boom, hit em with some hippie folk shit. Blues, hip-hop, french garage rock, girl group, then some Bob Dylan live bootleg that you know they won’t appreciate. The point is to keep them guessing. If Thomas Edison had made mixes, that’s what he would have done. Once iTunes can generate a playlist that will make a girl sleep with you, that’ll be genius. Until then, use some word like automatic and be done with it. And by the way apple, why don’t you spend your time on some shit that people actually give a fuck about, like copy / paste for the iPhone, or a glow in the dark nano. Just kidding, as long as I have every color in the rainbow, I’ll be fine. P.S. I’d rather french kiss John Hodgman than start using the @me.com e-mail address. I’m self-obsessed enough as it is.

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