Wow, first black president. That’s a real accomplishment there America, you really should be patting yourselves on the back for that one. Just 150 years after slavery and all? I mean, really, outstanding work. While we’re on the topic of minority representation in higher office, though, you know who might also make a good candidate for a national office? How about a descendent of one of the original goddamn inhabitants of the place? No? A little too far out there for you? Five hundred years of genocide and government-sponsored oppression against Native Americans and you don’t quite think you’re ready for an Indian in the in office higher than, “Pit boss?” I see how it is. No, I understand, really. The black guy gets a break after just a century and a half because his ancestors were kept in the bonds of slavery and denied basic rights and we all feel bad about that. Weirdly, we Indians, too, might have had such a retrograde benefit had we been allowed to be slaves, but it wasn’t in the cards I guess because we’d been massacred to the brink of annihilation by the fucking United States Army. But I get it. You know, slavery was worse. You can probably sense a little sarcasm in my voice, and you’re thinking, “Sour grapes, Tonto, look at Native Americans’ representation in government.” Yes, let’s look at that.

Currently there are… hmm, let me count them here… Ah yes, ONE, there is one Native American in Congress, Tom Cole from Oklahoma, and he’s as white as a goddamn John Edwards. Seriously, look him up. And a Chickasaw? I don’t even know who the hell those people are.. If he’s an Indian, I’m a Somalian. So, you know what America, save all your righteous self-congratulation. Until I, Charlie Running Crow, or one of my nine remaining Native American brothers gets a goddamn break, you are still just The Man, and don’t forget it. In the meantime… can we have some more blankets?

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MADATOMS is an alt-comedy network focused on videos, articles and comics. We post daily videos, ranging from breakout virals to auteur driven shorts.


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