We're almost a decade into the 21st century, and I gotta say it's pretty much Yaaaaawnsville so far. All those cartoons from 1950s and '60s predicted flying cars and time machines by now, but our brilliant minds have spent all their time trying to cram a million songs into a phone. People from the '50s would've been so disappointed in the real 21st century -- that is, if we'd been diligent enough to build a time machine to travel back to the '50s to bring them to the present to show them how shitty the 21st century is. If they could see YouTube, they'd marvel at how our advanced technology can broadcast video around the globe that still manages to look like pixilated Vaseline. They'd be amazed at the power of DVRs to pause and rewind live TV before learning to curse its inability to record more than two shows at a time. They'd stare awestruck at the myriad of functions on the iPhone, then toss it in the dumpster because it's two generations past obsolete. Why are moving sidewalks only in airports and European subway stations? Why can't I teleport hookers in and out of my apartment with my wife being none the wiser? Why does Drano never really work? Why do I have to fax ANYTHING?
All of the "coulda-been" futuristic advances are now fodder for late-night TV infomercials. Spray-on hair. Roll-on tans. Hair vacuums. Magnetic bracelets that sculpt your abs. If only we’d perfected these inventions, maybe—just maybe—I’d be able to look my grandkids in the eye one day and tell them that we did all we could to save the world. Now get off your ass you lazy scientists, and give me the hoverboard from Back to the Future II. NOW!
MADATOMS is an alt-comedy network focused on videos, articles and comics. We post daily videos, ranging from breakout virals to auteur driven shorts.