SHORTFILMS
WEBSERIES
FUNNYARTICLES
INFOGRAPHICS
THINK YOU'REFUNNY?

THE WIRE WAS THAT GOOD

I finally wrapped up season 5 of 'The Wire' last weekend. I know, I know. A little late to the party. I just didn't want the experience to end so badly that as I got closer to the series finale I steadily slowed my viewing pace, like a clever masturbater on his penis-pumps in the precious seconds before sweet completion. Other cop shows have the good / dirty cops, dopers and killers, but the only 'reason' they are there is because it's impossible to get the payoff (a big drug bust, sex scene atop a seized pallet of cocaine) without them. They are all character devices rather than being characters themselves. 'The Wire' feels so real because all it is, is shitty (sometime charismatic) people doing their natural thing. The effect of that is a hundred times more compelling because just like in the real world, the worst among the citizens of that universe consistently gravitate to the positions of the most power and intrigue. Clay Davis = Henry Paulson - Is it really that tough to picture Henry Paulson scamming drug dealers and aspiring businessmen in Baltimore? Just like Clay Davis, Paulson cares about one thing and one thing only: his own bank account. Hell, I'd give Paulson the whole $700 billion package if he grew a Lou Bega mustache, dressed up in black face and said "Shieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet."

Tommy Carcetti = Obama - Among all Barack’s assets what’s the only thing that Tommy Carcetti knew he didn’t have? Exactly. Being black. At this point we’ll never know if Carcetti honestly believed that he could effect any of the change that he made a name preaching. But we did learn that knowing how to surf a wave doesn’t qualify someone to steer a ship. Damn, that’s pretty terse. Does McCain need a new attack ad guy? Bill Rawls = McCain - Speaking of McCain, he and Bill Rawls are so close that they’re even colored the same shade of pale milk white. For all his public appearances as a good and principled man, he’s only survived this long because he learned early how to play the power game. He hasn’t taken his eyes off the head office for five minutes in the last thirty years, and whatever it takes to get there is the least he’s prepared to do. There’s also the proneness to rash, hot-headed decisions: Rawls when he fires people, McCain when he hires them. I guess we’ll see which ends up "doing more damage."

Jimmy McNulty = Bill Clinton - Both of them have the extreme sense of loyalty and a moral compass that got a little dirty along the way. The nail in the comparisson coffin is their insatiable urge for poon. The only result from letting these two loose in the Playboy mansion would be about 30-50 girls dying from dehydration and vaginal exhaustion. Karl Rove = The Greek - You would have no idea from looking at them that they are the base for the evil going on in the world. They have their hand in everything and everyone owes them a favor or large sums of money. At least 3 steps removed from actually being implicated in anything, it’s almost impossible to catch them. And even if you do come close, they’ll just go to Europe for a while until everything cools off. Upon their return, they’ll become a political consultant for Fox News and tell Congress to "go fuck themselves" when subpoenaed to testify. Nobody on the show really parallels Bush, though. They couldn’t write in a character that dumb and be remotely believable, even for a cable TV show.

0
Shares
Error, no Ad ID set! Check your syntax!

MADATOMS is an alt-comedy network focused on videos, articles and comics. We post daily videos, ranging from breakout virals to auteur driven shorts.

FEATURED VIDEO

Missed Connections – Sad Slasher #1

A murderous slasher has been killing people at his creepy cabin for years - but now that a neighbor is warning people away, his supply of victims has dried up!