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The Old College Try

Education is a costly experience that you gamble on getting paid back for. Well kids, I’m here to help you leverage your costs and teach you a trade that might pay off when you realize how boring political science is. With this trick you will not pay for text books and you’ll sell them back later at full retail. So for starters go to the book store on the first day of school when it’s a madhouse. Any bookstore I’ve ever been to has one line for returns and about a dozen lines for purchase. Usually the return line is outside to keep things orderly. Just get go find all your books and stand in line with all the other kids buying their books. Have a half crumbled receipt in your hand from a grocery store so it looks like you already bought them. When you get to the cashier you let out a somewhat frustrated, “I have to return these, my financial aid didn’t come through.” The cashier will be pissed at you already, just for being there as the first day of school is murder.

The clerk will tell you that you’re in the wrong line and try to make you feel stupid. Apologize and walk to the door, your books are now free. That should make learning all the better. Now that 16 weeks have passed you’re about to be insulted by receiving $4.27 for a book that your peers spent $80 on. Hold off on selling them. Before the next semester starts go online, sign up for all the classes you took last semester, print out your schedule and go back online to drop the classes. Then show up at the book store on the first day of school and tell them a big sob story about how you have to drop all of your classes because your mom is terminal or because your pizza delivery mobile got stolen and now you have to drop out and sell your books just to make the rent. The print out of your schedule isn’t a receipt, but it’s enough proof to push a sympathetic cashier into handing you $400-$500 in cash. In case you’re wondering my degree is in Justice Studies.

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