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THE NEW NO TV

Yesterday I heard someone un-ironically brag that "they don't even own a television." I hadn't heard that one in awhile, and it tickled me pink. Sure, people who talk like that have long been the butt of jokes, notably Mr. Show's "TVs are nicknames and nicknames are for friends and television is no friend of mine" rant. But what was gut-busting hi-larious to me was that "I don't even own a television" is a truly antiquated statement, like someone making a point of mentioning that they never whittle the time listening to the radio serials at the soda fountain. Lots of people don't own TV sets anymore. Because TV isn't the principal time-waster it once as. Watching TV has been supplanted by what you're doing right now. No, not pretending to be busy while everyone else does the real work or drinking coffee in your underwear. I mean staring at that glowing screen in front of you. I mean surfing the internet. Do you ever hear someone brag that they don't even own a computer? Not at all. The reason this is is that people want to believe that being online is somehow different than watching the boob tube. For most, it's not. As consumers we just have a vast variety of channels to choose from. And what kind of channels are we talking about? For the most part, I like to think of the internet as hosting the world's largest public access station: a place of amateur, user-generated content full of weirdos talking into cameras, spouting off on strange pseudo-religious tangents, and staring at you creepily while they show off this thing their cat can do.

Yesterday I heard someone un-ironically brag that "they don't even own a television." I hadn't heard that one in awhile, and it tickled me pink. Sure, people who talk like that have long been the butt of jokes, notably Mr. Show's "TVs are nicknames and nicknames are for friends and television is no friend of mine" rant. But what was gut-busting hi-larious to me was that "I don't even own a television" is a truly antiquated statement, like someone making a point of mentioning that they never whittle the time listening to the radio serials at the soda fountain. Lots of people don't own TV sets anymore. Because TV isn't the principal time-waster it once as. Watching TV has been supplanted by what you're doing right now. No, not pretending to be busy while everyone else does the real work or drinking coffee in your underwear. I mean staring at that glowing screen in front of you. I mean surfing the internet. Do you ever hear someone brag that they don't even own a computer? Not at all. The reason this is is that people want to believe that being online is somehow different than watching the boob tube. For most, it's not. As consumers we just have a vast variety of channels to choose from. And what kind of channels are we talking about? For the most part, I like to think of the internet as hosting the world's largest public access station: a place of amateur, user-generated content full of weirdos talking into cameras, spouting off on strange pseudo-religious tangents, and staring at you creepily while they show off this thing their cat can do.

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MADATOMS is an alt-comedy network focused on videos, articles and comics. We post daily videos, ranging from breakout virals to auteur driven shorts.

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