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THE HOLLYWOOD WALKS OF FILTH

I've spent a lot of time down on Hollywood Blvd for work. The big draw of Hollywood Blvd for tourists is the Walk of Fame, which is a series of hundreds of star-shaped plaques in the sidewalk with the names of beloved Hollywood icons on them. I guess it's an attraction because its something your idiot friends back home have heard of and sitting next to a star with your favorite actor's name on it is, by some weird logic, the next best thing to actually getting a picture with that celebrity. The horrible truth is, tourists aren't in on the elaborate prank we are all playing on them. During non-tourism hours, the sidewalk of Hollywood Blvd is the dirtiest, most filthily diseased surface on the planet. I have seen homeless people and drug addicts sit, sleep, shoot up, and shit on the Walk of Fame. I have also seen tourists kiss their favorite star's star so their spouse can take a picture of the exact moment they caught the deadly Hanta virus on their face. Conspiracy? Absolutely. And we are all subconsciously playing this sick joke on our tourists. We've all seen an out-of-towner kneel down and touch that sidewalk with their bare hands. Have you ever bent down, like a mother speaking to a child playing in the mud, and gently remind them to wash their hands after touching something so unfathomably disgusting? No, you haven't. I certainly haven't. You know why? Fuck 'em, right?

If they get some kind of festering, open sore on their face they’ll think twice about coming to our city and trying to have a good time. Burn in hell douche bags, and take that gay ""tourism commerce"" thing with you too. Idiots.

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