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THE GREATEST FACEBOOK APPLICATION

We all remember MySpace. For many of us, it was our first social networking site, allowing us to connect with friends in a slightly less-convenient method than email. We uploaded our photos, created "Top 8" lists and spammed the shit out of each other. We made tons of extra profiles for our bands, our pets and our pets' bands ("The Goodboys"). We kept re-friending each other, sending many useless messages and friend requests. Then companies followed our lead, sending wave after wave of "porn star" friend requests, until MySpace became choked with spam. And died. R.I.P. So we packed up our blurry drunken party photos and our “personal” information and headed to Facebook. The advantage of Facebook is that it's easier to figure out who's friending you -- a porn star spambot or a real friend (protip: your real friends don't wear lingerie in their profile photo). For a while, things seemed okay.

Until the applications came. Now I can’t open Facebook without getting a barrage of daily requests to virtually fight global warming or adopt a hideous 3D dog. When you block one application, like werewolf biting, an identical application pops up, like zombie biting. This spam is super annoying and I don’t want to switch social networking sites once again. Therefore, I’m putting out a challenge to the Facebook programming community: create an application that destroys all the other Facebook applications. Like a virus, it will spread through the internet, disable such retarded apps as Hug Me and Invasion of the Galactic Goobers, then delete the source code for these applications off the creator’s computers, so they cannot be compiled again. If we want to kill Facebook, like we did MySpace, by all means let’s send each other Compare HOTNESS. If we want to save Facebook, then fuck Compare HOTNESS and the assholes who made it.

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