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THUG LIFE

November 24, 2004 - Writer: Alice White | Artist: Tracie76

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When’s the last time you saw a middle-aged man snap off a chicken’s head and drink the (still warm) blood out of its neck? Well, those of you that are like me and haven’t been to any Haitian voodoo ceremonies recently, I would say you haven’t seen any kind of fresh blood consumption recently (filthy minds out of the gutter momentarily please)...unless, of course, you happened to be on 9th St. in Downtown LA’s fashion district around 3pm last Tuesday, where this exact act was performed. Follow me...I’m walking down 9th over to my friend’s warehouse, stepping over passed out junkies and beating off zealous pigeons, intermittently re-assuring the odd prostitute that I am NOT “on her corner.” All during which I am holding my breath as not to potentially vomit all over myself from the ghastly stench wafting up from the sewers.... when I see two men scuffling about, what was at that point, a still unidentifiable object. As I got closer I realized these two men were trying to capture a chicken by cornering it. Ok, so I grew up on what could be considered a farm, and a chicken is a BITCH to catch...especially if there are no fences or anything to keep it relatively contained...

So these two men are sweating and really trying to keep their focus on catching this fucking chicken. A CHICKEN. What in the holy hell were they doing with a chicken at that moment at that location? I have no idea..BUT the chicken escapes and makes a dash for the road... So after a good 2-2.5 minutes of dodging traffic (this was fascinating to watch...kinda like a live-action Frogger) I heard a sound that reminded me of the first direct hit of a pillow fight...the chicken had been hit!!! I could hardly contain myself..the adrenalin was pumping through my veins..DEATH in broad daylight!!! With glittering eyes I looked to the two men that I assumed were the owners of the now expired chicken. They stood as if made of stone. Suddenly one broke out of his paralytic state and became enraged! He began yelling a stream of profanities in Spanish as he stomped over to the droopy pile of feathers...once he had reached the chicken he let out a loud “THEY SAW HIM COMING AND DIDN’T STOP!!” Are you fucking kidding me? So at this point I want to explode into a million pieces of laughter, but am afraid of the consequences...so I begin to develop a slight stomach ache from all the internalization of emotion."

"Resigning himself, the man picks up the chicken by it’s feet and begins to walk back to the sidewalk. I figure the show is over and he is now going to return to his house where Juanita is going to make some delicious taquitos de pollo and everyone will forget the untimely fate the chicken met. Nope. Dude takes a look down, his right arm holding the dead chicken(this is like slow motion in my memory), grabs that chicken’s neck, breaks it open, and *slurps* down the warm oozing blood. I say slurp cause I HEARD him slurping it down like a fucking milkshake! I watch as he rounds the corner and disappears...Day complete."

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