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ONLINE DATING: SPAM MARKETING YOURSELF

In a town filled with entertainment millionaires and trust fund babies, how do you distinguish yourself in the dating pool? By joining online dating sites and email marketing yourself effectively. Your initial point of contact is probably going to be your profile. Feature your best product shots. Much like you wouldn’t put up a photo of the car you’re trying to unload on Craigslist featuring the large dent in the fender, make sure your dating site pics show you as thin and full of hair as possible. And under no circumstances should you put up that picture of you from Halloween when you dressed up as a "Kissing Booth." Craft your profile. Tweak the copy. This isn’t you – it’s the best version of you. It should be witty and concise. I found that by being offensive in a funny way – mentioning sex and the fact that I’m not looking to support a dependent – I can immediately weed out women who are looking for a sugar daddy and/or aren’t going to fuck me. Then comes the actual email. You want something short and sweet because, like all direct response campaigns, you’re going to have a low conversion rate.

Pick out something unique about her from her pictures or profile, throw in a common interest, and ask if she’d like to chat. “Wow, Sk8rgurl79, you have the most amazing smile. I also love Afghani food and the works of Pablo Neruda. I think we’d probably hit it off pretty well.” You can also do some A/B testing of various messages. Perhaps a flirtier email versus one that suggests all the nasty things you’d do to her if she can’t run fast enough. Finally, you don’t want to make your conversion funnel too long. Keep the email exchanges period brief. Set up an in-person meeting. You never know who’s going to look like a dude or be insanely religious and you don’t want to waste time forging a relationship if it’s not going to end in sex (or marriage if you’re romantic). And if all else fails, at least you’ll have an interesting anecdote about meeting someone off the Internet.

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