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OBAMA WILL GET YOU LAID

My friend Tim met Barack Obama while he was campaigning. Tim was his limo driver on the way to an airport, and wisely asked to take a picture with the man who would become our next President (and pretty much the biggest celebrity in the world, sorry Brangelina). Any normal person who had their photo taken with Obama would naturally show it off by displaying it on their desk at work, or maybe post it to their Facebook profile. But my friend one-upped all that. Tim went to Kinko’s and blew up his Obama buddy photo up to poster size, framed it in a custom-fitted deep mahogany frame and nailed it in the center of his living room wall. If there were tea candles lit underneath it, it could be considered a shrine. Every single girl that comes over to Tim’s apartment after a date can’t help but gawk in awe at him and Obama together, smiling at the camera. Simply through association to the President, my friend becomes ten times more attractive. And he gets laid. Who knew our President could be such an aphrodisiac? Is it his perfectly tailored power suits accessorized with that bold red or blue tie? The book-smarts/street smarts combo? The assumption that Michelle is constantly glowing in her sleeveless dresses all the time because she’s sexually satisfied in the Lincoln bedroom?

Whatever it is, the man has a degree from Harvard law school and the Midas touch for inflicting horniness in his fellow Americans. Could any other President have that special power over a woman’s loins? Maybe Clinton, but only in his saxophone-playing, boxer-shorts-admitting-wearing heyday. If someone I was dating managed to take a photo with Teddy Roosevelt I’d certainly be impressed, if only for their ability to go back in time. But a photo of a potential suitor proudly standing next to Dubya? I’d run in the other direction. Guys – click and save some photos from CNN.com, and start a-photoshoppin’!

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