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LOSING A FRIEND TO ANIME

Cody was a friend I became close with during a period of high school when I solely socialized with members of the marching band, even though I wasn’t part of the band. Cool huh? Cody's friends and I would spend long afternoons at her house, marveling at her parent's disturbingly large collection of television series on VHS. After high school, Cody married and moved to the northwest, while I moved to Los Angeles in order to pursue a career in terrible commercial auditions. Thus, our friendship would become mostly long distance. For a while, Cody generally described her adventures working in the window treatments department of Linens 'N Things, until one day, when she mentioned watching a new Anime program. I had never known Cody to be an Anime fan, but perhaps this was just some after-college experimentation. Little did I know what this interest would develop into. The show Cody had been watching was something called InuYasha, which I would learn is referred to as the “gateway drug” of Anime; the type of show that gets people hooked on the much harder stuff. 

As time passed, Cody talked less and less about linens, and more and more about Anime until it was the sole subject of discussion. Details about her personal life fell aside as passionate opinions about shows with titles like Cold Metal Cowboy X Yo-Yo took their place.

Anime was quickly becoming an addiction, and her friends could only observe helplessly as Cody descended into a dark downward spiral of schoolgirls with huge eyes and even huger tits. And then the unthinkable happened. National linens treasure Linen’s ‘N Things filed for bankruptcy. Without a full-time job to fill Cody’s day, Anime was all too ready to fill the empty hole. Soon Cody had opened her own online Anime store. She wasn’t only consuming Anime, she was dealing it too. The friend I had known for owning VHS episodes of M*A*S*H was not now only reading Anime fan-fiction, but writing it herself. If Cody took it any further, she would be entering the world of cosplay. We all knew that the instant Cody donned a mask and jumpsuit to represent her favorite One Piece character she would be gone to us forever. Cody had to be confronted A&E Intervention style. But without Candy Finnigan, we were left to our own devices. When the opportunity presented itself, we gathered a small group of loyal friends and sat her down. “We can’t understand anything you’re talking about”, we said. While we were glad she had a new hobby, it had far surpassed the fucking creepy point. Cody listened thoughtfully and took it in. Without some kind of 90-day Anime rehab in Scottsdale to send her to, we could only speak our minds and hope for the best.

ThaThankfully, things began to turn around. Soon Cody was gainfully employed at a non-linens-based company, she had stopped dealing Anime, and began to talk to us about things the rest of us could understand. Everything seemed to have finally returned to normal, until recently, when Cody posted a fiery rant about how The Last Airbender is NOT to be considered Anime, because it’s just an American show designed in the Anime style. Is this a sign of a relapse, or just some good old fashioned bitching? Only time will tell….

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MADATOMS is an alt-comedy network focused on videos, articles and comics. We post daily videos, ranging from breakout virals to auteur driven shorts.

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