The worst part about growing up is always having a motive behind everything you do. The only extracurricular activities adults partake in are things that will result in a job or money or sex, three things I never had to worry about when I was a kid. Instead of signing up for ballet classes or playing little league, adults spend their free time going to networking functions in order to get a job in order to get more money. If not that, then they hit the gym – but that’s just to look good to find somebody to have sex with. I’m over it. Which is why I want to join the circus. In my saddest moments of desperation (which coincides with a lack of job, money and sex), I google various clown schools all over the world, checking out tuition prices and wondering how hard it would be to learn to juggle. I even went one step forward in my completely unrealistic fantasy and took flying trapeze classes. Why? Because it’s completely unnecessary. It has nothing to do with my career, it doesn’t pay squat, and it’s a complete turn-off to guys (even though I probably wouldn’t want to date the guys who do have a clown fetish). Everyone needs to involve themselves in a bit of silliness from time to time. Stop being afraid of looking like an idiot!

But what if I did leave my job and try to join the circus? Is the circus even hiring now? Is Barnum & Bailey on a hiring freeze like every other company in the country? Are clowns and acrobats and lion tamers searching Craigslist everyday like I am, searching for a more stable desk job with benefits? Are they jaded with their career in the circus arts and are just waiting til the economy gets better to pursue their dream of selling insurance? God, even the circus is fucking depressing.

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