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LATE NIGHT TROLLING

Craigslist is the “Secret Santa” of job sites. Every once in a while, you get a great little gift you can really use but mostly you get a nasty, stinky bottle of regifted “Fantasy by Britney Spears”. I stumbled across what must clearly be a mirage: Movie Review Site Seeks P/T Writers The perfect job for a lazy writer! Watch free movies and give my opinion. I clicked the link: Are you a film fan? Can you write thoughtful and compelling reviews about the latest productions? If you answered yes, we'd like to hear from you ASAP. I was on it like the Reverend Hagee at a Holocaust Revision Convention! The nicest reply came the next morning: My name is _______and I'm the Writing Coordinator for ________. Com. First of all, welcome! I think you'll find this to be an interesting website that is truly like no other. As a reviewer, I've had wonderful experiences and have met interesting people.

Not only was this my dream job, my supervisor seemed so super nice! Maybe I’ll wind up being the greatest film critic of all time! Next stop, The New York Times! Inspired and ready to write my audition review, I quickly clicked the link. IT’S PORN!!! Now, lets be clear about this. I am not a prude. I have seen my share of porno films. At the age of seventeen, I sat for hours while a coked-out-of- his-mind; pervy schlock director showed me porno films. Gripping the VCR remote like a crackpipe, he’d blather on that directing porn was better experience than any film school in the world! “See that cut? When she blows him, it’s egg whites! See! When he shoots it on her tits, it’s real! Here, I’ll rewind it again-” Still that was just your average girl on guy action. Things have changed! To start with, the following are just a few of the possible genres: Pregnant Sex, Creampie, Squirting, Cum Facial, Hairy Pussy, Fat Pussy, Midget Sex, and of course every woman’s deep dark fantasy “Gangbang”.

Not to be discouraged, I thought I’d check out a few of my fellow reviewer’s pieces (remember, the nice writing coordinator said she’d met “interesting people”!) Five Sexy She-Males Having Hardcore Ass Fucking, Giving and Getting Blowjobs, and Cum Facials is Vividly Trantastic. I closed the browser making a mental note to sign up with Monster.com…

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