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INTERVIEW WITH THE BLACK GUY

He's been sliced into pieces in Resident Evil, de-armed in Predator, and he had his head punched off in Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan. Now, for the first time, he speaks candidly. As he walks up to greet me, clad in a retro letterman jacket and Chuck Taylors, he seems cautious, constantly looking over his shoulder with the bug-eyed nervousnes

Off all your deaths, which was your favorite way to die? Being fellated to death! (Laughs.) No, really, I never get to have sex. (Sighs. Rubs himself for several seconds with a faraway look in his eyes, then snaps out of it.) Oh, my favorite death? Probably in Satanic Skank Spank when I had my arms chopped off, then I was dumped in a vat of plaster of Paris, a

But yeah, I think there could be some credibility issues. That’s why I’ve been trying to move behind the camera to direct. I’ve been meeting with a producer to get this project off the ground that I wrote called Dead Crackers -- although there ain’t no Saltines in it, if y’know what I’m sayin’? (Gives me dap.) Do you have any aspirations of actually living unt

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MADATOMS is an alt-comedy network focused on videos, articles and comics. We post daily videos, ranging from breakout virals to auteur driven shorts.

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