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HOW TO GET KICKED OUT OF A BAR

From the ages of 22-26 my hobby was getting wasted. I was a real handsome disaster, but by all accounts I was an extremely successful drunk… unless Professor Worm happened to show up. Prof. Worm was the name my friends “affectionately” applied to my Mr. Hyde-like alter ego, who appeared when I had one (or five) too many. The Professor had a much-hated superpower,

Unless you’re at a gay bar, no one wants your ass dancing on top of the bar. They especially don’t want you to lie down on the bar and try to talk other people into sliding you to the end. (I’m kinda proud of that one actually.)The Kitchen Is For Employees- Turns out the people at Denny’s are really uptight. The kitchen might smell great on the way to the bathroom

Bring a Chair Onto the Dance Floor - A chair does not make a suitable dance partner. That should go without saying. Speaking of dance floor errors – FYI: Chicago clubs get surly if you taking a run jump and slide across the dance floor. Climb On Things - This was the Professor’s most frequent offense. The guy loved to climb. Could be as simple as walking across t

I’ll give the Professor one thing – he was an obnoxious asshole, but he shockingly got a few ladies. Some women must be easily impressed by climbing skills.

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