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THINK YOU'REFUNNY?

HOLLYWOOD LONELY HEART DR#: 01-0612603

Bachelor #4: William Delgado Delgado is an avid fan of Battlestar Galactica and will attend his 4th year of Comic Con dressed as Admiral William Adamar . An air sign, this heterosexual Gemini is enthusiastic, sensitive, and a self-described “foody.” William confesses a weakness for movies with talking babies, and one day dreams of bashing in the chief of police’s head with a rusty horse-shoe. A Gemini’s keywords are “I think,” so challenge William with a romantic word puzzle, or at least ask him about the latest crime he’s committed. Hopefully his answer will be “the crime of loving you too much.” Careful though, too many questions could inspire this Lothario to compose a poem of bruises on your face! Sex: M Descent: Hispanic Height: 5' 9 Weight: 150 Hair: Black Eyes: Brown

Or, and I know this is a stretch, is it possible that you are actually the soul of a car inhabiting a person, sort of like the movie Cars, but with more blow jobs, so the only place you are comfortable getting your balls licked is in a garage? Alternately, perhaps you are just too lazy to take the elevator up to your apartment. Regardless of this particular couple’s reasoning, there was only one thing I could do in this situation: hit the panic button on my key remote. When the alarm shattered the romantic silence of the garage, the people in the car flipped the fuck out. There were limbs flailing everywhere and a frantic attempt to pull up a zipper without getting it stuck on any choice flesh. Said attempt was probably unsuccessful, judging by the high-pitched scream. And I’m pretty sure someone hit their head against the gearshift. Now that’s how you have fun in the garage! What’s the most bizarre place you’ve ever gotten your dingle hopped (Little Mermaid reference…go with it)?

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