A few weeks ago, I was strolling through The Grove with a friend when we saw a mother walk by with her daughter on a leash. I thought my friend was going to have a fucking aneurism. “Oh my God, that is CHILD ABUSE!” she cried. She went on and on about choking the kid, getting her all tangled up, hurting her ability to explore the world around her and blah blah bla

See, when I was a child, I had this adorable habit of playing hide and seek with my mother without her knowing we were playing. So, on occasion, I would run away and dive into clothing racks until my mother could find me. Brass tacks: I’m a sick nasty hider. My mother seriously did not know where the hell I was. That kind of thing is a blast for a two-year-old. Bu

I’d personally like to see even more advances in the field of child leashes. Just think how entertaining it would be to have kids running around on those retractable leashes. If they went too far, ZIP! They come flying back at you at a solid 13 miles per hour. It would provide hours of wholesome fun for stay-at-home parents everywhere! Now, if the kids start sayi

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Missed Connections – Sad Slasher #1

A murderous slasher has been killing people at his creepy cabin for years - but now that a neighbor is warning people away, his supply of victims has dried up!