Whoever you are and wherever you’re from going to the gym is usually a chore. In Los Angeles, gym time takes on a life of its own with all the bobbing and weaving you do to avoid people. It’s your workout, before your workout. Sadly, we live in a time where silly haphazard stereotypes are totally appropriate. This means, you’re only offended because you’re one of these idiots. Desperately Seeking Attention - Every gym everywhere has at least a few of these women. They show up, strip down to nearly nothing and workout while managing to avoid exerting any energy. You’re supposed to stare, but if you decide to speak to her prepare to be shot down and treated like a rapist. Closet Case Musclehead - He wants to pump himself up. Too bad he’s already pumped full of hot air and desire for steamy sex with other men. Most of the time you can catch him making eyes at himself while working out in the mirror. The rest of the time you can catch him giving blow jobs to gay men in West Hollywood.
Frumpy Dumpy Bitch Wearing Too Much Makeup - The fact that her face looks like the MAC counter vomited over it does not distract from her bulbous gut. It also does not make any good looking man want to speak to her. It does however highlight her desperation so you know you can fuck her in the steam room and them come in her face. The Creepy-Pudgy Dude - You know who you are. You get too close. You talk too much and inevitably will try to touch whatever woman isn’t smart enough to scream rape the second you get near her. Later, in the locker room, you jerk off with the shower door open. Trainer-in-Training - You can’t miss this idiot and he won’t miss you either. He’s the fool that goes around giving advice to anyone that will make eye contact with him. He will dick around with 95 pound barbells that are far too heavy for him to actually use, and then drop them suddenly when he thinks no one is watching. Also, because he gave himself a hernia. Don’t worry, he’ll move back to New Jersey soon.
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