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GOOGLE TRENDS ANALYSIS

Hypothesis While there are an increasing number of people who are concerned with the state of affairs in America, this demographic still represents the minority. The vast majority of people have not read a newspaper, cannot name one Senator or Congressman (let alone their own) or know who claimed responsibility for 9/11 (Hint: He didn’t live in Iraq) but somehow know all the names of Bradgelina’s kids. Method Run thousands of complex equations and immeasurable quantities of data streams into the complex market/statistical analytics software tool known as “Google Trends."

Results Imagine the enlistment rates if the Pentagon finally invented lightsabers. Mothers would be free to do whatever they wish with their now vacant basements, World of Warcraft would be a ghost town, Star Trek nerds would have free reign at Sci-fi conventions and the Army would be forced to put Mountain Dew: Code Red in MRE’s (Meals Ready to Eat).

Obama’s popularity is inconsistent and McCain’s in nonexistent. No candidate could match the brand recognition and marketing powerhouse that is Pokémon. If only they could get the 11-year-old and /b/tard demographic to vote.

You can take two things from this graph: 1) People with Shemale fetishes really let loose on the weekends. 2) They were completely oblivious that the United States government was watching them the whole time, knows what websites they went to and recorded everything. The best part: a law was just passed that makes it completely legal.

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