Before moving in with my gay roommate, you can only imagine the high expectations – as a heterosexual male – I was filled with. I’ve seen Queer Eye for the Straight Guy: I was ready to have my very own homosexual sidekick! It only took the very first night for disappointment to set in. It was a Friday, and I offered that we go to one of those gay bars – perhaps
Much like a cute dog in a park can attract women, I was expecting my homo housemate to do the same. Gay men have attractive “fag hags” – Grace from Will & Grace, The Sex & the City girls hung with Stanford – because they’re less intimidating. Alas, my roommate hangs out with men. And straight men, no less! If it weren’t for his extensive shoe collection, I’d swear
Take back the words that chained you, just like the world-changing Guido activists of Jersey Shore have! The Situation really is the Martin Luther King Jr. of our time. It was last night, overhearing him fart while watching the hockey game that I realized he had to go. Can’t he be watching Dancing with the Stars instead? I haven’t had the heart to tell him, yet.
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