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FACEBOOK INVITE RUINED

You've got the location, the music and the alcohol. You're ready to throw the most mind-blowing party ever, sure to end with police brutality and a mention in tomorrow's paper. You send out the Facebook invite, and immediately your party's reputation is scarred. Why? Because of this phrase, posted on the party's Wall: "I can't make it - sorry!" Recently, I was the co-host of a big holiday party. For all the prep work we did to make sure the party would be awesome, our Facebook page was dogged by these momentum-killing comments - like piranas nibbling at a swimmer's legs. Worse yet, a lot of these posts were being left by girls. Fuck! On Evite, it's okay to leave a public comment saying you're not going to be there, because: 1. Evite purposely hides the negative comments in its page design. 2. Who gives a shit about Evite? ALL parties look terrible when you're "evited." They have thousands of invite themes, each one worse than the next.

It doesn't separate between good and bad Wall comments, so having a bunch of shady Wall posts is an immediate red flag to a potential party-goer. So if you want to ruin someone's party attendance, my suggestion is to post, "Oooh sorry. Can't make it. My cousin's bat mitzvah!" on their Wall, then get a bunch of other people to do the same. It's okay if you can't make the party, but why make a public statement? If you're worried about being polite, send a private message to the party host. No need to shout "this party probably sucks" to the other guests. Wall posts should be limited to statements like: "sounds awesome," "can't wait" and "we're are gonna get so fucking hammered! Yeah! You guys are my BROS!!!" Despite the negative early press, our party was a big hit. At first, it was just a bunch of close friends, but by the end of the night, we had spill-over crowd into the front lawn. There were lots of girls, plenty of noise and even a little puking. The early party goers texted their friends, and they texted their friends, and so on until we had a great crowd. The lesson here is that a flawless Facebook invite helps, but the most important part of throwing an amazing party is, well, throwing an amazing party. And Jell-O shots. And titties.

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