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BATTLE OF THE ILLEGALS

Back in 2002, the city of Los Angeles banned any new billboards from going up. Like the laws against public urination or gang murder, the law has been largely ignored. According to LA Weekly, since the ban, over 4000 illegal billboards have gone up in Los Angeles. On the other hand, with the current rate of growth, the LA area is set to be home to 1.3 million Illegal Immigrants by 2010. Mathematically, I think that works out to no Mexicans actually in Mexico. Two groups of lawbreakers. One LA. Which one is doing the most damage to our fair city? Well, here’s the breakdown on how each group helps, or harms Los Angeles. A pretty one may marry me for citizenship? Billboards: No Immigrants: Probably not, but maybe Winner: Illegal immigrants Make me sad by reminding me that I flunked Spanish in high school?

Immigrants: Yes Billboards: Yes. Many billboards are in Spanish. Winner: Tie Place for ugly graffiti? Billboards: Yes Immigrants: No Winner: Illegal immigrants Might team up with a friend to remind me when Indiana Jones comes out? Billboards: Yes. Immigrants: Even if they did, I don’t speak their illegal immigrant language. Winner: Illegal Billboards

Take the job of one of my friends or another hardworking American? Immigrants: Possibly Billboards: Possibly. I have a friend who is a sign holder. Winner: Tie Cook me a delicious meal at one of LA’s fine restaurants. Billboards: No Immigrants: Yes Winner: Illegal immigrants Hold a rally that holds up traffic? Billboards: No Immigrants: Yes Winner: Illegal Billboards

Make me wait longer at an overcrowded emergency room? Billboards: No Immigrants: Yes Winner: Illegal Billboards Move leaves from one part of the yard to another part of the yard using a device that blows air? Billboards: No Immigrants: Yes Winner: Yard owners Make the Home Depot parking lot look like a crowed, popular, happening place? Immigrants: Yes Billboards: No Winner: Illegal Immigrants Make a Republican upset Billboards: doubt it. Immigrants: Yes. Winner: Illegal Immigrants Results: Immigrants:8 points. Billboards: 4 points. Yard Owners: 1 point. It looks like illegal billboards are harming our city far more than the illegal immigrants. It’s time to round them up and send them back to where they came from.

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