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AT AGE 26, I’M STILL A CHILD

As I was driving in the car, wearing a Transformers t-shirt, "Under The Sea" shuffled onto my iPod. I sang along on the way to a video shoot where I dressed up in an elephant costume. "Oh," I suddenly realized, "I'm essentially a child." I guess most people's interests change as they get older. They grow up and they want to actually golf, instead of play the far superior mini-golf. Or they want to read New York Times bestsellers instead of comic books (people who call them "graphic novels" are ashamed of themselves). Or they want a steady job where they come to work in a suit, as opposed to dressing up as an elephant for free. Don't get me wrong. There are things about adulthood I've completely embraced: driving around in my own car, having sex, eating food that's not Pizza Hut. Independence is way better than living under your parent's roof and having to follow their stupid rules for idiot dummies! However, now that I'm independent, it means I can watch Garfield cartoons all Saturday morning without anyone telling me to go outside. I think my feeling like a kid is partly due to my interests, but even more to do with my general lack of responsibility. As long as I make enough money to pay for myself to not be homeless, I can do whatever I want. Without the responsibility of having to take care of children, or paying off a mortgage, I'm not an adult yet.

My life still feels analogous to childhood: Work = School Adult Weekends = Childhood Weekends (Play video games, hang out with friends, think about how awesome Ninja Turtles are) Yes, there are adultish things in my life like electricity bills, or keeping my credit cards balanced, or worrying about losing work in the economy. As an adult, you can't escape the suckiness of adulthood completely. That's why I like to think of the world as a big Chuck E. Cheese -- it's easy to have a good time, but it's also easy to get abducted by a stranger.

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