It’s happened a thousand times. Nothing else is on, so I’m watching some lame funniest home video show, someone gets hit in the balls, and the audience goes ape shit. I roll my eyes and express my dissatisfaction at such lowbrow humor. But, recently, while playing an impromptu game of softball, a friend got hit square in the nuts. Let me tell you, that shit is fucking hilarious. My life was changed that day. I realized that getting hit in the balls is indeed, quite funny. And here’s why. First of all, it’s funny to see someone hurting. We love seeing people in physical, emotional—really any kid—of pain. Standup comedians wouldn’t be funny if they talked about how big their dicks were. No, we want to hear about how their penis is so small, splitting it could destroy Hiroshima. We want to hear about how hard it is to be Jewish. We want to hear about how miserable and depressed they are. That’s funny! But if that’s true, then why don’t I laugh when it happens to strangers on TV, but when a good friend gets hit in the balls, I’m on the floor? These are the kind of questions that keep me up until 4 am every night. Well, that, and being constipated from the new birth control I’ve been taking. But that’s another story. Anyway, I’ve concluded that it’s because the stranger’s pain doesn’t mean anything to me. I don’t know them, so I can’t fully appreciate it when they’re unhappy. Most of the videos
are from the Midwest, so their lives are probably crappy anyway. But my friends spend a great deal of effort trying to convince the world they’re happy, so when I see them at their most vulnerable moment, it’s only natural to laugh. Second, balls are funny. Even the word itself is funny. Balls. Alright, I’m not saying its keel-over-and-split-your-sides funny. But if someone in your family died, and the doctor said, “Sir, I’m sorry, but she’s gone. And also….balls.”, it would certainly lighten the mood. Testicles are funny. They dangle, they look weird, it’s socially unacceptable to talk about them at a dinner party….those things scream humor. Add pain to the mix and you’ve got comedy gold. My best friend’s father had an old adage about comedy, and I remember him regaling it to us one evening. He said, “girls, there are two things in this world that will always be funny: fartin’ and getting’ hit in the balls.” He’s since passed. I always thought he was just some dumb hick. And he was. But by God, he was right about getting hit in the balls.
MADATOMS is an alt-comedy network focused on videos, articles and comics. We post daily videos, ranging from breakout virals to auteur driven shorts.