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AMERICAN APPAREL’S PORN DÉCOR

I recently had a conversation with friends of my parents, who were raving about their daughter. Bright, talented, and apparently a model. They seemed very proud about the last one. Validating that they had good genes, I guess. But as the conversation continued, it came out that the daughter models for American Apparel. I can only assume that they've never seen her pictures, for if they had, this would not be something they'd bring up while smiling. American Apparel ads consist of unflattering shots of starved, sleep deprived subjects. I didn't burst their bubble and tell them that their daughter was most likely in an internment camp, but it made me fully realize that American Apparel is no longer a clothing store: it's a smut shop. I like American Apparel's products: solid color shirts that feel soft and fit well. But when you walk into their store, it's impossible to feel comfortable as you're greeted with leotards and side-boob. Don't get me wrong, I like leotards. I like side boob even more. I think I spent all of 1994 on a search for it. I just don't need to be bombarded with it when buying the dullest possible product: a blue t-shirt. Does that make me some sort of prude? Just because I like to keep my boobs in one place and my blue shirts in another? In my head, a spanking new blue shirt leads to side boob - to more than side boob, in fact.

At American Apparel, it's the other way around, ruining the natural order of things. What's the point of even buying the shirt at this point? I've already seen the end result and can be on my way. Their internment camp ads seem to say, "Come for the nudity, stay for the...nothing." I recently decided I would start purchasing my blue shirts online, but their site isn't much better. In fact, it's blocked in my office. Deemed NSFW. Apparently, you cannot buy a t-shirt without running into porn these days. I checked out the site when I got home. First up, a close up of a butt (no owner in site). Second, a black shirt that does nothing to hide a glaring nipple. Nipples and butts. That's what their website sells. At some point, the line between clothing and porn became blurred. They're now one in the same, and there's little we can do about it. Needless to say, I bought a few butts and decided to go to Old Navy. A wholesome store that has great deals and clothes I never really want to own, but would. All the models in the pictures seemed happy in their loose-fitting hoodies. This is a place I can get used to. A place I can feel comfortable and take my time when I pick out the boxers with the electric guitars on them. The only problem: no blue shirts. And I really like blue shirts. I just may have to sift through some side-boob to get there.

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