Bitching about Jersey Shore is still relevant, god damnit!
She said her pussy was “off-limits,” but you know how trustworthy lawyers are…
Who wants to fall in love if you don’t get to emasculate twenty-four other competitors in the process?
For vanilla folk, getting freaky means frantically attempting to cover up the fact that you prematurely ejaculated.
If some dead person is going to force you to dress up on a Sunday, youre sure as hell not going to do it sober!
Because if you’re going to spend the day tucking your balls into satin thongs, why the hell not getting totally shitfaced beforehand?
Want to get rid of someone? Do it the Disney way!
Lessons learned from Blendr: women don’t exist.
It’s hard being an Indie Indiana, an alternative Arnie, a hipster Hulk.
And by fearless we mean asshole.
Bread is so 2008.
Coping has never been scarier.
Not quite as fun, though.
Some of which may or may not get you arrested.