It’s a sad state of affairs when Slutty Debt Ceiling isn’t getting you laid.
It’s downhill from 5.
If you don’t get drunk and ruin a relationship, you’re doing it wrong!
It’s like asking a fat woman when they’re due – times ten!
Start working on your costume today! Get a head-start and… oh, who are we kidding? Sheet Ghost it is.
Kids dress up as the darnedest things.
I got 99 problems and the 21st century is one.
Feeling very, very alone.
30 is the new 20, right?
Either way, you’re probably going to get fucked up afterwards.
And what a fast month it is.
What do 86+ year olds do with $20? No one cares.
Hitler reference: check.
On the bright side, you’re probably way better at, like, doing laundry or whatever.
Now to wish she only had six…