For a committed relationship.
It’s ok! This was written by a half-Asian.
It’s an art not worth perfecting.
For someone who is unabashedly, painfully bitter.
Because the only way to get through an epsiode of 2 Broke Girls is completely off your ass.
From a frustarted straight guy.
And for 3.5 million dollars less!
Bitching about Jersey Shore is still relevant, god damnit!
She said her pussy was “off-limits,” but you know how trustworthy lawyers are…
Who wants to fall in love if you don’t get to emasculate twenty-four other competitors in the process?
For vanilla folk, getting freaky means frantically attempting to cover up the fact that you prematurely ejaculated.
If some dead person is going to force you to dress up on a Sunday, youre sure as hell not going to do it sober!
Because if you’re going to spend the day tucking your balls into satin thongs, why the hell not getting totally shitfaced beforehand?
Want to get rid of someone? Do it the Disney way!